Olevian

you wake up with random bruises every morning.

you don’t do dishes, and when you do you just throw out the dirty ones and buy new ones.

you drink any natty left over in the main common room from a party.

you’ve hooked up in the alcove.

you’ve antiqued someone.

you think once you enter the house you take off all your clothes because you are ‘home.’

you get so f-ed up you piss the bed, multiple times.

you yell profanities for no reason or when going up to the third floor.

the words ‘balls’ and ‘peach’ have alternate definitions.

your bowel movements are common knowledge.

you’re one of the dirtiest people and your room resembles a dumpster.

you go to the bar and don’t remember going.

you know about your mom’s chest hair

you are either a member on thefacebook or you go on under someone else’s name

you miss class for a ‘job interview’, yea right

you burnt yourself tanning the day before and skipped class

you climb in the window because we lock the door

you're on the crapper and the cleaning lady comes coughing in

burning shrimp set off the fire alarm and sent campus safety and serve to save olevian from burning to the ground

your friends can't even talk to you in your room because it has such a stench to it.

chances are you are hungover and it's probably only monday

you talk about keith brand like he is your boyfriend

you think there is nothing wrong with charging liquor and beer on a weekly basis.

you wake up having no idea what you did last night

being called a bitch, slut, cunt, whore is actually a complement

being racist against certain colors of goldfish is ok

having a box of wine in the bathroom in the norm

sunbathing on the 2nd floor deck is an afternoon community service event

flashing your friends happens when you get flustered which is quite often

happy hour is never one hour; in fact, it is a series of days...

you moved into your room one month before graduation

you sent your family a friendly reminder that you will not be able to function on graduation

in return they told you to pack a week before

you know the definition of the made-up word 'gragitation'

you marked your calendar for the days that you will be drinking and all other events will be made aorund your drinking schedule.